Shine Like Gold...

Backstage, a black Hummer limousine pulls up. Bitterman, a small middle-aged man dressed in a black suit, gets out of the driver's seat and opens the back door. Magic Matt Malone steps out, clad in a gray suit with green tie and handkerchief.

MMM: Bitterman, get the luggage. And hurry up, I don't have time to waste. This is my big debut.

Bitterman: (droll voice) I live to serve, sir.

Bitterman opens the trunk and struggles with what seems like a full trunk of luggage.  Bitterman grunts and groans.

MMM: What's keeping you? Did you fall asleep? Did you catch a case of The Idiots again?

Bitterman: No sir. Just my back sir.

MMM: Then hurry up. I've got to put on my costume, talk to Tommy Midas, and then scout out this El Magnifico guy. Not that he's any match for me, but hey, better safe than a boot to the face, right?

Bitterman: You are wise beyond your years, sir.

Magic Matt strides toward the locker room. Bitterman follows, loaded with so much luggage that he can barely see. On top of the teetering pile is a golden suitcase studded with diamonds.

MMM: I haven't seen Tommy since Bottomtooth Prep. How the hell did he buy a quality Fed? A peasant like him couldn't afford something like this. AXN must be falling apart.

Bitterman: (still struggling) He's a very wealthy man, sir.

MMM: Nonsense. They must be bankrupt. Desperate...in need of a savior...a superstar like myself.

Bitterman: A superstar.

MMM: A super duper star. Like, all the stars rolled into one mega star. Like taking four double stuffed Oreos and combining them into an octuple stuffed one. That's me, Bitterman. I'm the Oreo. I'm here to save them. No championship belt shines more than when it's around my waist.

Bitterman: You shine like...(mumbles something under his breath)

MMM: What was that last part?

Bitterman: Like gold, sir...you shine like gold.

MMM: Damn straight! Watch out, Magnifico. IT'S MAGIC TIME!!

MMM runs off, leaving Bitterman with the luggage. Bitterman collapses in a heap. The golden suitcase lands on his head.

Bitterman: (weakly) my neck...my back...my neck and my back...

Note: I usually use Bright Green lettering for Magic Matt, Dark Blue for Bitterman, but whatever works for you.