Bottomtooth Prep Reunion

Magic Matt Malone knocks on the oaken door that has "Tom Midas" engraved on a metal plaque. MMM, knowing that he has a bye in the championship tournament, is wearing a casual blazer with no tie instead of his wrestling gear. His longish hair hangs down, artfully crafted to look a mess. Bitterman follows close behind, holding Matt's golden suitcase.

Tom: Come in.

MMM barges in, making as dramatic an entrance as the self proclaimed "Prince of New York" can (and that's quite a lot). Tom is stretching, preparing for his Triple Threat tournament match. He's already in his wrestling trunks.

MMM: Tommy! Buddy! Bubbelah! It's been years!

Tom stops his stretching and shakes MMM's outstretched hand. MMM gives him a bro-hug.

MMM: I haven't seen you since you were a skinny thing at Bottomtooth Prep. Gooooo Ocelots!

Matt tries to give Tom the secret Bottomtooth handshake.

Tom: I'm sorry Matt, but I don't remember it.

MMM: You don't remember the handshake? It's like this.

MMM takes Tom's hand and forces it through a series of ridiculous signs and poses.

Tom: Oh yeah (he says with little interest).

MMM: I brought you something. Bitterman! Suitcase! Now!

Bitterman opens the golden suitcase and takes out a sweatshirt. It says "Bottomtooth Prep: Enlightenment and Entitlement."

Tom takes the sweatshirt

Tom: Ummm...thank you...It's...You know, I never liked that place.

There's a long pause as MMM takes in Tom's surprise words.

MMM: Dammit, Bitterman! You have the worst ideas. I told you that a sweatshirt was stupid.

Bitterman: But it was y--

MMM: Shut your wrinkled face. (MMM puts one foot on Tom's chair and flicks his hair.) Anyway, it looks like you've got a helluva match tonight.

Tom: Yeah, but I'm not worried. I trust my skills.

MMM: Because you're the boss. The boss always win.

Tom: It's not like that. I made sure that I get treated like any other wrestler.

MMM: Ohhhh, I see. (Gives Tom a wink.) It'll be our secret... I like what you're doing with the place. And did you see how the fans popped for me? They love their Prince.

Tom: They booed, Matt.

MMM: Yeah, but it was a loving boo. I've got so much heat, I can cook a hotdog with my ass.

Tom: That doesn't sound pleasant.

MMM: It's an expression, not an actual hot dog.

Tom: I get jokes. I was just sandbagging you...like you did to El Magnifico last week. You don't need to make other wrestlers look bad to make yourself look good.

MMM: (ignoring Tom's comment) So...I think I should be your top heel. I've no problem carrying the load. Hell, you know I'm the best performer you have. I'm the Prince of New York, and Madison Square Garden is my palace. All I need is a throne and a jester...Wait, I've got one. Bitterman! Dance! Now!

Bitterman: As you wish, sir.

Bitterman goes into an awkward Charleston, with the rhythm of parents dancing at a family reunion. Tom facepalms.

MMM: So how bout it. You give me the push I deserve, and I'll bring AXN to the top. Beyond the top, even. I'l top the top, and then top it again. I shine like--

Tom: Yes, I know. Shine like gold. I saw your promo last week. (Tom sighs and starts stretching again). But I'm not just going to push you because you have heat. This fed is different. You have to fight to the top.

MMM: Come on...after all we've been through. I thought we were pals. Remember Bottomtooth? Go Ocelots?

Tom: I remember you peeing in my bed and calling me a bedwetter.

MMM: That was a harmless prank. Water under the bridge.

Tom: Not water, Matt. Pee. And you had asparagus first.

MMM: Yeah, well that was then. I'm a changed man.

Tom grunts non-committedly.

Tom: If you don't mind, I have to finish prepping for the match.

MMM: Yeah, good luck with that. I hope to meet you in the finals. We'll put on the greatest match they've ever seen. I'll bust out every move I've ever learned. We're gonna be stars, Tommy Boy...starrrrrrrsss.

Tom: The match, Matt.

MMM: Oh yeah, I'll let you go. Just remember, I'm your cash cow. I'm your boy, Blue. Did I mention that Uncle Vanderley owns part of every network in the country? Just saying...Bitterman! Door! Now!

Bitterman: Yes, sir. I live to serve...(mumbles a string of inaudible insults)

MMM: Good luck, ol' buddy, ol' chum. I'll see ya in da finals. Come on, Bitterman. Let's go back to the Dakota have the kitchen staff cook up some shwarma.

Magic Matt Malone bumps Bitterman as he leave Tom's dressing room, knocking him against the door.

Bitterman (Mouths To Tom) Help me...He never shares the shwarma.

MMM: Bitterman! Leave! Now!

Bitterman shuffles off after MMM.

End scene.