One Track Mind

therausch09 Thu Jul 16, 2015 5:38 pm

Backstage in the AXN arena, Candy Kane looks anxious as she holds a microphone in the middle of a well-lit hallway. She looks left and right - exhaling intermittently - appearing to be expecting someone.
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Candy Kane: "He's gotta come past here some time tonight, right?"
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She continues peering down the hallway on either side of her when a door slams in the distance. Candy has a look of excitement cross her face before she takes off running down the hallway to the camera's right. The cameraman follows, giving the viewers at home and in the audience a turbulent view of the linoleum floor as his hardware bobs left to right, up and down.
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Candy Kane: "Sweeney! Sweeney!"
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The camera stabilizes and catches sight of Sweeney Antoine at the end of the hall, looking like a blazered deer in headlights. He seems to go through his fight or fight checklist in his head and apparently decides to stand his ground and field the eager interviewer's questions. Candy catches up to him, but is out of breath and can't immediately ask a question.
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Sweeney Antoine: "Man, when have you people had enough already?!
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'Sweeney, why did you attack Drew Wright last week?'
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'Sweeney, why hide your attack behind a black morphsuit?'
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'Sweeney, why lie to us all and say you wouldn't stoop to that level?'
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I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
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Candy backs up as the normally even-keeled man screams loudly through the empty halls.
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Candy Kane: "But Sweeney, what -"
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Sweeney Antoine: "Good grief, you people are vultures! Nobody cares about my first win in AXN. Nobody cares that that win puts me in line to potentially become Number One Contender to the Paranoia Championship.
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How many times will I have to answer these same droll questions this week?
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Do you, Ms. Kane, really think in that lovely little head of yours that I would deliberately lie to these fans? Do you not think that I'm man enough to face Drew Wright just the way I previously stated I would? Why would I go behind everyone's backs? Do you think that's the way a man of principal and taste acts?
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ANSWER ME!"
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Candy Kane: "N-no! No, Sweeney. I -"
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Sweeney Antoine: "So then why the hell can I not have a moment's peace this week? None of you are professionals; you're just a bunch of tabloid reporters, trumping up the story of the week to get people to remember you still exist!"
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Candy Kane: "Well... I guess I deserve that."
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Sweeney removes the yellow-tinted aviators from his face and dramatically runs the palm of his other hand from forehead to chin.
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Sweeney Antoine: "No, no... this is on me. I apologize. I am assuredly acting very ungentlemanly right now.
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But this week... man, this week... It's like everyone has the same three questions for me. Ladies and gentlemen, I had nothing to do with that savage attack on Drew Wright last week. I know the presence of my hat makes it look suspicious, but apparently someone found a way to break into a room Mr. Blue assured me was as secure as a jail cell in Alcatraz.
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While I'm eventually going to want to speak to the locksmith whose very un-fine mechanism put me in this predicament, I promise you all that I am still the same ol' Sweeney I was last week: humble, principled, and not willing to drop into the sewers to throw a little gunk in Drew's eye."
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He smiles smugly for the camera and replaces his sunglasses as Candy steps closer, no longer fearful of an outburst.
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Candy Kane: "So then... not speaking of the unpleasant events from last week... what exactly do you plan to do about Drew Wright tonight now that you get another chance to take him on?"
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Sweeney Antoine: "Me? I plan on getting my damn hat back."
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With that, Sweeney Antoine storms off down the hallway in the general direction of the curtain to the stage, leaving Candy Kane looking quizzical and unimpressed.